Have to think today about why I am here. I’m here to stay sober. That’s my primary purpose. Like my sponsor told me I’m not responsible for getting sober and into this program, but I am responsible for staying here, staying sober, and putting this program into action.
And then there’s the foundation to this program I must think about. And that’s spiritual, as I have learned in here. Certainly it was my Higher Power, who opened the door for me to come in. That’s because I was handed my sobriety by him, because he stopped me from drinking. Took away the focus of my mind on alcohol and my craving. How can I ever forget that? I need to remember each day in here that I be able to think of asking for help to remain sober and then express my gratitude for what he has done for me.
Today we had two people who said this was either their first meeting or that they had come in a day or two before. It’s when I look at and hear people like this I am reminded that I need to pay attention to what I am doing. This is a reminder of what happened to me to end my drinking career. I was approaching death. I was going to commit suicide because I could no longer stand drinking but I couldn’t stop. And that’s when I asked for help and got it. I know that’s what drives most of us in here. The inner pain. Our bottoms.
I think most of us in there today, who have had time in this program have witnessed many deaths from alcohol. I could go down a list of these, as did a couple, who wanted to point out the seriousness of this disease. I know that I have been given a new freedom and a new happiness. But the newcomer has no idea what this way of life can be for them. If they are here because of despair and the illness of alcoholic insanity, those gifts are not present to them at this moment.
Hopefully for them and for those of us who are making our presentations of how this program has worked for us they may at some point begin to grasp hope that they too can stop drinking and don’t have to continue to suffer. That’s what I remember. Hope. Faith was to come later, when I began to realize what had happened to me. My hopes had been fulfilled. My hope for them is that they too will come to realize what I was given.
Anyway I was grateful for what I was given today by the meeting I attended. The reminder I needed to pay attention and be willing to put these principles into practice. To fulfill the Steps. To do all of this in responding to my Higher Power. To give thanks for this miracle that I was given. To offer to put my hand out to the newcomer or the ones returning and asking for the help we all need. I say that because I know I’m not done. More to do.