Sometimes I find myself talking to or being talked to by others. Sometimes I find myself busier than usual. Yesterday and today was fairly busy. And, as usual, I’m the one who seems to benefit the most from these talks.
One of my old friends and I got together and we talked about this. And for the most part we were in total agreement. Like myself, he, at one time or another, did the same thing with others both early members or even older. And we both agreed that we needed to say the Serenity Prayer. Our being powerless over others. I still have to remember that I’m never going to change the mind of another person, if they don’t want to change.
I often go back and think about my younger brother. I had tried to talk to him to help him stop drinking. I’ll never forget the explosion of anger he had. After that he was never friendly ever, until he called me and told me he was dying and needed my help. I always felt so bad about all of that, but it was the Serenity Prayer again. Still powerless.
I often think about working with new people. I know from experience that if they really haven’t hit a bottom it was going to be a rare event that they would stop drinking. At least not for a long time anyway. Pain is so much of a gift to the new individual. It’s what gets their attention. It worked that way for me I know. My bottom was total despair. That blackness within because no matter what I had tried I couldn’t stop drinking. And the only way out for me was suicide. And that’s when I was given the gift of hope along with the gift of pain. And that led to the surrender to the First Step for me.
My friend had almost the same experience. The inner pain got him to his first meeting and he stayed. He didn’t want to go back to that. He wanted the freedom from alcohol like I did. And we both learned to eventually get over ourselves and to finally listen to what was being presented to us. We both got sponsors, who knew what they were doing. Slowly but surely we both started to listen and take in what this program offered us.
And that led to both of us laughing at ourselves. We had to admit that even after all this time we still have our troubles. And we agree that it’s our humanness. Not the disease itself. That has been taken care of by the restoration to sanity and the spiritual awakening. Our junk still pops up from time to time and we can find ourselves stumbling over ourselves. However we know we can talk to others like ourselves and find the answer we need. We still go back to the basics and the BB. The Steps. The spiritual program.
Talking to another man today, whom I’ve dealt with over the years, I recommended what my sponsor told me. To turn to my Higher Power with prayer and meditation. And then to go to others and share and then listen to them. But to apply the spiritual program to our lives on a continuing basis. That’s what has worked for me and so many others I know in here.
Anyway I thought about all of this because it definitely brings my attention to why I am here. To stay sober. And it’s sharing with others which gets me out of myself and into the program in an active way. Like I said I know that I feel like I’m the one who definitely benefits from these talks.
Funny thing. As I was writing this a long time member, who has been sick, gave me a call. We had a long conversation. Mostly about staying sober and this program. Particularly about prayer and meditation. Meditation we discussed in detail, because they definitely feel a great need for this. I don’t blame them. What we talked about was how to do it so that they could be concentrated on what they were doing. And I told them what I do. I write mine out. It keeps me focused on what I’m doing.
Anyway it reminded me of what I often think about. That the spiritual program is not a theory. We have to live it. I pray that’s what I do. All I can do is to try. I know if I want to stay sober this is what I need to remember. I know that I’m imperfect, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t stay sober and grow along spiritual lines. It is what it is.
I have to think about the gifts I have been given in this program. I owe my Higher Power so much for all I have received in here. I need to thank him. And, again, all those in here, who have been so helpful.