Once again I was reminded of an old timer I met early on in my sobriety. I’ve often said that this man was one who almost drove me crazy with his repeated statements. “Attitudes are more important than facts.” Today, as I look back, I can see now how much sense this has made in my life.
The reason I am thinking about this is because of the two subjects in today’s meeting. One was fear the other love. Interesting. How this old timer’s offer can very well work to eliminate one and bring on the other.
He would bring up a proposal of two consecutive days. Both would be beautiful sunny days. Those were the facts. What weren’t the facts was how an individual waking up on the first day feels, great and happy at what they see. And they spend the day enjoying themselves. However, on the second day, which is exactly the same as the day before, the person wakes up in a bad mood. Hates the day and there is no enjoyment. No happiness as on the day before.
Of course what is obvious are the attitudes. The positive attitude on the first day. The negative on day two. What the old timer was telling us is that we can change our attitudes. Had the person changed his attitude to a positive one the second day could have been as wonderful as the first. The problems weren’t the days. The facts were that both days were beautiful. What was wrong was within the person. Our emotions. And our attitudes can change those.
So here we are talking about the emotions of fear and love. Although love is not always an emotion. I know, as I said from my experience, I have been able to deal with things in a better way on a regular basis, because of my attitudes. If I take the thought of changing my attitude from negative to positive and add another quality to it, the spiritual way of life, asking my Higher Power for help, I have been able to change. If fear is there, it can be lessened or even removed. If love is needed, that definitely takes a positive attitude.
In this program, regardless of how much progress I have made, I know I’m still subject to my faults or defects. I know that, if I’m not paying attention, I can very well be overwhelmed by emotions. Fear, anger, resentments, and all the rest. I know if I’m able I can step back and pray and ask for help, which can at least begin to calm the disturbance. And then I know it’s up to me to be willing to change. I often remember what I was told to start with making a joke out of myself and break out in at least a smile. Then I know I can start my day with a positive attitude. I know others who do the same thing.
The result is one of being calm. To walk away from things which can lead me away from the sunshine of the spirit. Fear leading to anger and eventually resentment. The bait which can lead me to a drink and death, as the BB points out to me. This of course takes me to something I also learned in here. When I find myself getting rolled up in trouble, I can step back and start my day over. That’s something I definitely need to remember. With help from my Higher Power I’m not helpless. I can stop and pray. Then begin to change my mind. I know I don’t have to stay where I was before. I know I’ve done that with fear turning to anger and then resentments. I’ve walked away, laughed at myself, after doing a quick Tenth Step and accepting where I am wrong, and moved on into a positive attitude.
The question of love is something else. It was something I had to learn to grow into. Talk about fear. I had to overcome my fear of caring about someone else. And I found that most of this when I began to learn from what I was witnessing in this program. I had to begin with developing compassion, which I saw others practicing in helping others. And again that being able to have a positive attitude and not a negative one made all the difference. I was able with the help of others to develop very deep and longtime friendships in here. Never want to ever forget that.
I had to stop and think about these things, because they relate directly with my being able to practice living a sober life in this program. I know how much help I have received from my Higher Power in seeking to change from the drunk I once was to what I am today. Sober. And then I have to take a look at all those who reached out and supported me in practicing to change my life. The result has been happiness and peace. Freedom from the bondage of alcohol. I am so grateful.