We were talking today about being open to what really is faith and doing the will of our Higher Power. All this in order to continue to stay sober a day at a time. I know it has worked for me and so many others. No question.
But, as I sat and listened to the many in the room, I had an immediate question come to mind. And that reinforced what I was thinking. And that was about what gets us into our defects. Negative emotions and attitudes, which so often get many of us back out the door and into drinking. And what’s that? The unconscious mind.
Over the years I have listened to experts on this and read a few real experts. I recently read DiMello, who had much to put this into a way of understanding. The fact that our mind is like a programmed computer. Our thinking and our reactions are the result of how we were raised, our religious programmed thinking, our schooling, and the list goes on. In the end we can react in anger to someone or something, which others might find the source of happiness or peace.
I learned this very same thing from others. And I know from experience I can change that, if I so choose to do that. For instance, when I find myself in such a state, I can step back and take the time to objectively look at my thoughts and my reactions. And then to examine the reaction of others to the same situations. Then I can go further and look at why I react the way I did and why others didn’t. I can refuse to accept what I experienced and step back from my reactions and let go.
The result is that I can change my emotional reaction and cut it down. I can, if I so choose, change my mind. I don’t have to believe that I’m right. I can let go and turn my life over to my Higher Power for help with this need to change. There’s much more to this, but it’s not all that complicated, except for how I feel and how I react. How I view others, etc.
The result is that I have changed over time in here. I have applied this program to all of this. Often time I can go into that Tenth Step in here, which tells me that whenever I’m disturbed there’s something wrong with me. I can get honest with myself, with the help of my Higher Power and others in here, if I get honest with them. And then get into the Eleventh and even the Twelfth.
Anyway, I had to stop and go back and think about how changes have gradually come into my life over time. Like I was told by my sponsor and so many others: Time does take time. It’s not an easy road to travel overnight. In fact I can’t. For me it has taken a long, long time in here. Years. But, if I want to stay sober, I have to be willing to change.
As a result I have been so grateful for all that has been given to me in this program. And that begins with staying sober. Free of alcohol. I never want to ever drink again. Plus I have received peace and happiness. Peace of mind. A change in personality. A willingness to try and do the will of my Higher Power. To be willing to help others. And my list goes on. I need to say thanks for all I have been given.