Why we’re here and fear. That was today’s thoughts at the meeting.
Of course we’re here to stay sober and carry the message to another alcoholic like ourselves. Almost everyone in the room had that as the answer to the first thought. Step One. That and the spiritual solution. More on that.
The second thought brought up a lot of things. One was what a lot of people saw that caused fear in them, and then others came up with how they dealt with this stuff. I know that there were things I was taught in here, which ended most fears and other anguishes. And the first one was staying in the moment. Like my sponsors and old timers pointed out to me, that I was to go no further than where my feet were.
I had to learn to keep my thoughts in the moment. And it made a lot of sense. I never had any real idea of what was going on beyond the moment I was in. I knew from experiences that when I projected my thoughts would often eventually turn into fear, and fear into anger and often resentments. I learned that I wasn’t here to live in the future. I was here to stay sober today and not got further.
Today, when I find my mind drifting into the future, I have to step back and look down at my feet and know where I’m actually at in the moment. And that goes as far as the past events are concerned. They’re over and done with. I need to leave them alone. The result of bringing them into the moment is that they can become the part of the “future”. Once I start projecting, I can find myself going through the same things I did in the past. Often the worst situations.
All this brings me back to the I over E I learned in here. Intellect over my emotions. I often find others going through all of this and their need to find a way to cut these negative emotions down to size or just get rid of them. The truth is, I found out, that they can be gone for a time and then creep back in. Like I was told in the BB and by my sponsor and those old timers, these things will come back again and again in my life. I’m human, and a chronic alcoholic. I need to learn how to pick myself up and dust myself off and keep on keeping on. How to start my day all over again.
Anyway, I had to not only stop and think about this, but to exercise my gratitude to my Higher Power and all those in here, who have helped me to grow along spiritual lines and to stay sober. Once again I’m here to stay sober a day at a time. Never want to forget that.