Help. I was thinking about this today. What I was really thinking about is my imperfections and realizing how much help I do need.
I was talking about this with a couple of friends. One was talking about some of our idols, to whom we’ve always looked up to. He happened to mention that one of these men was shy and introverted. And then another name came up and he was a total alcoholic, who died from his alcoholism. Another famous man, a movie star, who had a terrible drinking problem, was once asked if he thought he was an alcoholic. His answer was a definite no. He said alcoholics need help and he didn’t need any help. He died from his alcoholism.
I work the steps, but so imperfectly. I make mistakes. Am I surprised, when I make mistakes? Whatever made me think I wouldn’t? The spiritual life is to me one of imperfection. That’s why I go to meetings all the time. I need help with my imperfect mind and spirit. That’s where I get the help I need to continue on this sober path I’m on. So I can stay on it. I need to hear others, who are just like me, tell me how I can stay on the beam.
I’ve learned that I can’t stay sober alone. My bumbling, fumbling, stumbling mind tells me that I need help. Everytime I make a misstep I need to talk to someone. I don’t expect them to be right in everything or indeed anything. I just need to hear myself open up and let what’s bothering me out into the sunshine. Fungus and mold die in the sunlight. So too with the sunlight of the spirit. I need to put all this old moldy thinking of mine in the sunlight of the spirit.
So, I was sitting here thinking about having a higher power, the group, my alcoholic friends, and the God of my understanding, who are always there to help me stay sober. Just for today.