It works if you work it. I heard that over and over for a lot of years, but now I don’t hear it much these days. A friend of mine at the meeting today, talked about working these 12 Steps over and over. He said there are a lot of old timers we know, who never believed that working the steps once was the solution. They believed, and their sobriety is proof of this, that you continued to work these steps.
I talked about this with him after the meeting. Because I had to ask myself, do I do this? Do I work the 1st Step? Or do I just talk about it? How about the 2nd? Do I believe in my higher power? How about that 3rd Step? Do I turn my life and will over to the God of my understanding, or just talk about it?
And then there are the 4th and 5th Steps? Am I practicing these? The 6th and 7th? Now I’m at the heart of this program. And 8 and 9? Or am I just coasting on what I did in the past? Good questions for this alcoholic.
So, I did a lot of examination with my friend. What I came up with is pretty much “yes”, I do. Not perfect, but yes. In fact, in talking to my friend, I told him about an examination I was doing yesterday, where I discovered what a spoiled child I still am. Still wanting my own way. Or, as he said, King Baby. Still immature, insecure, and over sensitive. Lots of work to do in 6 and 7.
And, as one woman in the meeting said about herself, am I still talking to people, who are not in the room? Yelling at the TV set, as my friend said to me. All these things, which may still be active in me. But am I bringing the steps into the picture on these things?
How do I deal with the continuing temptation toward resentments? And what about those emotional hangovers, which I’m not aware of until they hit me the next day? When do I look to my part in them in the 10th Step?
When I ask myself these questions and answer them honestly, as the program asks me to do, I can see that I have work to do. Like I said, it works if you work it. Not to is to tempt myself into a “slip”.
Looking around he room today, I saw a few very nice people, who are struggling to get back, after some time in the program. I definitely empathize with them, but I never want to go there. They are suffering enough for all of us. I pray I never do. I just have to do what I have to do for this day. Work it!