Thinking about mistakes today. I remember reading a remark by Thomas Merton, who asked the question, whatever made us hope we would never make mistakes? In fact, the 10th Step says when we were wrong and not if.
I look around and see others making mistakes everyday. I know for myself that I often describe myself as a klutz. I’m always making mistakes. Try as I might, I know I shouldn’t be surprised, when I do make a mistake.
Of course the biggest mistake I could ever conceive of making is to pick up a drink of alcohol again. When I look back to the past, I can see that it was a mistake on my part to make that near fatal decision to start drinking in the first place. I can honestly say that, while I was a practicing alcoholic, I was making mistakes all over the place.
Fortunately for this alcoholic, and I include all others, who are sober in this program, today I have a solution for the mistakes I make today.
It’s the 12 Steps of this program. In particular, the 10th, 6 & 7, and the 11th. I know that the solution to this quandary began back, when I was introduced to the 2nd Step. As always the solution is spiritual, as it is with all my problems.
One of my problems, when I make a mistake, is learning how to let myself off the hook. My first reaction is an emotional one. I hate to find myself making a mistake and end up condemning myself. I often end up angry at myself and cause myself more problems in doing that. No one could possibly be my worst critic. I’m my own worst critic. Perhaps that’s one of the reason that the BB tells us we are not like other people.
However, I know that there are all kinds of possibilities in this program to correct any of our ills. One is, as my sponsor told me, to first calm the disturbance. Take an honest look at what happened and then talk to another alcoholic. That’s been a practice I’ve tried to stay faithful to over a number of years in this program. To sit down and tell on myself. By airing my errors out, it clears the air within. As I was told by my sponsor, a problem shared is a problem cut in half. From my own experience, I have found how true that it is.
It’s all about staying sober. Anyway, I was thinking about this today.