I had to laugh at myself today. I got a phone call and my first reaction was a mental complaint. Something like, why is someone bothering me? I really had to crack up. Who the hell do I think I am? What a klutz.
The next thing that made me laugh at me was, when a friend asked me how I was. Of course the answer is “well”. Why wouldn’t it be? Unless I’m looking for sympathy. I always remember a scene in the movie The Razor’s Edge. Herbert Marshall sits down on the couch next to a young Gene Tierney. She says to him that he’s looking well. Very seriously he says, “I am well.” That moment always impressed me. I am well.
Want to feel better about yourself? I am well.
Of course all of this is dependent on the program for me. What I have and who I am today is a direct result of this spiritual way of life we’re learning how to live. Sobriety opened the door to all of this. I know that as long as I’m trying, not always succeeding, my life seems to be getting better.
I guess the thing I was thinking about today is what kind of an example am I to other alcoholics? I know I often laugh a lot, mostly at myself. But do I have what others want? That kind of example.
I thought about that during a meeting where people were celebrating their anniversaries in sobriety. My thought went to the words in the Third Step Prayer again. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those that I would serve. Whose victory? Certainly not mine. My higher power’s. Am I a living example of this? Maybe and maybe not.
I can only ask. Not for me, but the ones I need to help.
So, when the phone rings, how do I react? And when someone asks about me, what do I say? And when they present their problems, how do I respond? Of course, except for laughing. Or maybe that’s a good thing. Not to take myself too seriously. Now, that really makes me laugh.