This is the most important day in my life. If it’s not, what am I doing here? If it’s a day at a time, this is the day. I know that the day I stopped drinking and came into the program is extremely important. But not as important as today. This is the only day I have to stay sober. And what am I doing about it and why is it this important?
I awoke today and couldn’t see that I had awakened in anger. Where did that come from? From the crazy dream I just had? Or something, which might have happened yesterday and I missed in the 10th Step? Did I thank God for my day yesterday? Nevertheless, I think I disturbed someone this morning.
I stopped and meditated on this. I also had an opportunity to talk to an old friend about resentments and what really is important. Then I discovered that a member of my family was upset, which delayed our meeting this morning.
I took all of this into a brief meditation and tried to be quiet. Then I made a decision to be the best company I could to everyone this day. I did my best and kept out of the business of others. Kept my mouth shut, except to help others.Not easy, when tempted to put my head where it didn’t belong. But I relied on my higher power and walked past the bait, when I was tempted to take a bite.
Nothing heroic. Just what was going on today. This day. Not tomorrow or yesterday. Just staying in the moment and being aware. Not always easy for an alcoholic, who is often easily distracted by things, which are none of his business.
As I was talking to my friend, I was reminded of something an old timer used to say. That AA does not add years to my life, but adds life to my years. Today was one of those days, when life was added to this day.
How often do I stop and think, what am I doing today, which will help me to stay sober? How easy it is to fluff that thought off, because I don’t have time to stop and think about that. After all, I’m already sober, right?
Then I stop and think, wait a minute. What am I doing? Do I remember how I got to this place, this moment? Wasn’t it because my higher power and others took the time to help me? And, can’t I take a moment to remember and think about my staying sober?
Anyway, when I got a moment, I stopped and thought about the day and these thoughts I had today.