There’s nothing like the experience of reading the 10th Step in a group to bring me back to reality. Not only to read, but to hear the experience of others discussing their problems and how it works for them. Me too.
I was thinking about this today. How important the words, like the acid test. Can I stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under any and all conditions. Just reminds me that I’m sober in spite of myself. It’s up to my higher power, not me.
That paragraph, which talks about how valuable failure is to us and how it can become an asset by making someone like me to move forward. And reminding me that pain is the touchstone of all spiritual growth. It says “all”. Not just the pain I experienced, when I was drinking, but those painful moments in sobriety. That’s when I find myself stumbling and bumbling. When I’m off the beam. When I suffer from an emotional hangover.
And, of course, the spiritual axiom. That whenever I’m disturbed, there’s something wrong with me. No exceptions? I don’t think so. Usually I’m pushed to anger and resentment, as a result of what I now know is fear. Fear of what? That someone is going to get over on me. And me, in my superior frame of mind wants to retaliate. If not in words, then in thoughts.
One of the dangers in all of this is that these things might one day set me up for a drink. But the 10th Step, if I continue to be conscious of it and it’s power to set me back on the path of peace and harmony with others, can restore my sanity and keep me on this path to sober living.
It also reminded me of how much sobriety is about relationships. I don’t even have to be in the presence of others to find myself wandering off the path. Just my thinking can get me into all kinds of trouble and cause me a lot of pain. My penchant to think in terms of being critical of others. I can find myself judging others without even seeing them.
No wonder the BB tells me that eternal vigilance is the price of sobriety. It’s not always about the drink itself. It’s the stuff that can take me back to a drink. That which can cut me off from the sunlight of the spirit.
The reading was a reminder of how the 10th Step can keep me in balance. How it can protect me from myself. And it’s not something I need to do alone. I often talk to a sober friend and we can share our shortcomings and our assets on an almost daily basis.
Yes, with help, I can stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose. But it takes being conscious of my activities on a day to day basis. To answer the question, how am I doing today. What have I or haven’t I done today? And just as often, it brings the other Steps into the picture.
Anyway, as we talked to new people today, I was reminded of this. I was reminded that it’s not only the new ones, who need a solution. I need the solution on a daily basis.