I was reading in the 12&12 in the 10th Step the words: until self restraint becomes a habit. Hmm. That’s heavy. What went before it in that statement was that we cannot think or act to good purpose. No kidding.
Why was I reading this? Because all the thoughts before it dealt with anger and resentment. Being overwhelmed by emotions, which often can get us drunk. I sure don’t want to go down that road. But I know from experience how others can press my buttons and get me to react impulsively. And unless I have some defense against these things, I definitely can lose it. I know myself only too well.
When Bill W. wrote in the Language of the Heart about emotional maturity, he had obviously dealt with these kinds of things, I was reminded of my sponsor and others, who were constantly counseling us to learn to control our emotions. Think with your head and not your heart. I heard that often. I didn’t always remember it, when I needed it, probably because I was not used to practicing self restraint.
What I was thinking tonight was mind your own business and shut up! Not always an easy thing to do. A lot going on around me. I’m tempted, but I have asked God for help and am committed to be quiet and walk away from all I hear. On some things I’m not sure what I should do. I know I will talk to some sober alcoholics tomorrow about some things. Other things I already know what’s expected of me.
The dubious luxury of normal people. I guess that means that even “normal” people are in danger with the emotion of anger and resentments. Probably not as much danger as an alcoholic is in, when losing his or her temper. My temper.
Anyway, recently I had heard a number of people talking about the consequences of getting angry. If nothing else they were having a hangover from their experiences. I know well what that is and hate finding myself in those situations.
That’s why I needed to look at the 10th Step. What a valuable tool that has been for me over the years. When my sponsor would say to me, first calm the disturbance, I knew I needed to go to this Step. It always worked in spite of myself.
Anyway, I just had to stop and think of developing the habit of self restraint and calming the disturbance, which is part of that habit.