Today it was talking about projections. That certainly set off a number of people into how they used to think. Not staying in the day, but going ahead into the future. Thinking! Not a good state of mind for the alcoholic.
Then one man brought up the thought of “what if”. For instance, what if Bill W. had not hit bottom and talked to Ebby T.? Where would any of us be today? Sober? Probably not. Now that’s something to think about.
It made me go back and think about what I need. When I came here, I really had no idea of what I needed. All I could think about was that I needed to stop drinking. I didn’t know I needed a whole lot more than just that. But it did start with me coming in and stopping drinking.
It was in here that I began to learn what I needed. I needed to get someone or something in my life, who could change my life, my way of thinking, my way of acting. But, left to my own devices, there was no way I could succeed. That something I desperately needed, even that I didn’t know that, was a higher power. Someone who could do for me what I couldn’t do for myself. I was powerless and didn’t have a clue.
It was at meetings and with my sponsor that I began to hear what it was I needed. Listening at meetings to what this program was about and how to put it into action in my life. The result was that I not only stopped drinking, but I got sober and my life was completely changed for the better. But I had no clue.
If I hadn’t listened to what worked for me and the many sober alcoholics, who came before me and have come in since, I probably wouldn’t be here. I’d probably have gone back to drinking and died an alcoholic death. Fortunately, I did listen. I heard the AA message. It saved my life.
Today, when I go to meetings, I still need to hear what it is that works. I still need to be reminded that nothings worth a drink today. I still need to be reminded to start my day with a prayer and end it with a prayer. I still need to be reminded about working these Steps and reading the AA literature. I still need to hear what the Traditions are about and how they work in my life. I still need to be reminded of how I have to try to practice these principle in all of my affairs. I need to hear that the solution is spiritual and that the spiritual life is not a theory. It has to be lived.
I’ve learned a lot, but I also have the strange malady, which makes me easily forget. That comes from my thinking. My thinking, which tells me that I’m in charge. That thinking, which a friend of mine reminded me today, that can lead to paralysis from my analysis of things in my life. That kind of thinking, which will rationalize that I’m not self will run riot, when I really am.
I need to hear over and over again that I have to come to believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity. Not just back, when I came in, but today. Everyday. To get that hope, which leads to faith. To become willing to serve others and stop thinking about me. Or at least try. To get some gratitude for all that I have been given in this program. Not just my not drinking, but a sober way of life, which has so rewarded me.
I need to hear that I have to strive to attain some humility. How important that is to my living a sober life.
If I don’t hear this kind of message and only hear what someone comes in and complains about what is going on in their life, and then hear responses, which follow this line of thinking. Responses, which encourage others to continue in a line of group therapy, I’m not going to get what I need.
The reason I come to meetings is because I’m an alcoholic. Oh, I know, all human beings have problems, but we’re not there to try to solve problems we can’t solve ourselves. How ridiculous is that? To come to a group of alcoholics, who are powerless over, not just alcohol, but just about everything else in life. But who have learned that life can be a whole lot better, as the result of putting this program into action. And we all learned that in the meetings, which talked about the solution to our alcohol and our lives.
Oh, yeah. I learned in here to try to stay in this day and not to project. It saves a lot of worry, anxiety, stress, and even depression