I was thinking today that I don’t have it made. I have to remember those words that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.
I guess there was a time I once thought that maybe there was a plateau that I would be able to reach, where I would have it made and wouldn’t have to continue to seek sobriety everyday. I think I thought that I knew what I was doing. Too smart for my own good. But because of my sponsor and others I was encouraged to continue to go to meetings and listen to others.
What I heard was what happened to those, who had reached a point, where they thought they were satisfied with what they had and stopped going to meetings and listening to others, who had thought the same thing and had done the same thing; stopped going to meetings. That inevitably led back to a drink again.
How can I ever forget the story in the BB about the man, who had stopped drinking for 25 years? After he retired he returned to the bottle. I guess he thought that after a period of abstinence that it was all right to drink. He found he couldn’t stop and died as a result. That’s when the book reminds us that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.
I didn’t want that to happen to me, so I started to redouble my efforts to work this program and continue to attend meetings. I finally got it into my head that I still had a lot to learn. Even today I still believe this. There is never a plateau where I can lean back and just lay around and do nothing to continue down this road I’m on. Complacency can become a killer for someone like me. Self satisfaction is a trap my ego can lure me into.
How many times I have heard others tell me that the reason they ended up drinking again was that after they stopped drinking and had come into the program they began to feel better and began to get comfortable then just stopped coming to meetings. They said they thought they had it made. Sadly that didn’t turn out to be the truth and they had to struggle to get back, after drinking again.
I’ve learned that there is no graduation. I always like to hear those, who almost everyday say, nothing is worth a drink today. What a great reminder for someone like me. I need to hear that I’m still on the right path and doing the right thing. Just because I don’t think about a drink doesn’t mean that my alcoholism is cured. There is no cure. Only abstinence from alcohol and practicing these principles in all my affairs, or at least trying to do this, is the answer.
Just a reminder to me today to rely on my higher power and the people in this program and not on myself. I know I will always need help. The day I think I don’t is something I dread to think about. So, I’m going to try to remember that I need these meetings and I need to listen. It’s worked for me so far and I know it’s what will work for me always.
Anyway, I was thinking about this today.