I was reminded today about the beginning and end of the day and everything in between. Someone reminded me of the day and what it is I need to do each and everyday. And the first thing is to start my day with a prayer to my Higher Power.
Funny thing, when I look back at my life before I got here. Before I drank that was the way my life was. Prayer in the morning. Especially when I was studying for the priesthood. Never arrived at that way of life, because alcohol got in the way and I ended up here. But the thing was that I did have a prayer life at one time.
It was that Second Step which really got me back into this way of thinking and acting. Starting my day with turning my will and life over to the care of the God of my understanding. That’s because I know I have a disease, which will be with me everyday of my life. I know I need to ask for help and offer to seek and do my Higher Power’s will for me. To open my heart and my mind to not only seeking help for myself, but being willing to help another alcoholic, when I can.
I was also reminded of what happened to me. I knew that I was a helpless drunk. I couldn’t stop drinking no matter what I tried. And that’s when someone stepped into my life, my Higher Power, even though I didn’t know it. It came in the form of a friend of mine, who had just heard about the program. He gave me hope.
But the thing that puzzled me was the word “alcoholism”. I had never heard that before. It came as a surprise. Me an alcoholic? And then I was given a BB and began to read the Doctor’s Opinion and that’s where I discovered for the first time what was wrong with me. In a way it was a relief. I had a disease and didn’t know it. The other thing was my being willing to surrender to that First Step. Never questioned it. When I found out I was so sick that I almost died I had no problem with turning it over. Surrendering and accepting what was offered and then given to me.
The other part of the morning is to take time to sit and meditate. To get my mind and my heart in the right place. Doesn’t matter how clumsy I might be. The important thing to me is to be willing to try. That seeking to improve my conscious contact with the God of my understanding. The Eleventh Step. Prayer, talking to my Higher Power, meditation, being quiet and listening. It places my head in a peaceful place. Helps me have a more positive attitude to begin my day.
Of course there are meetings to help me to remind me of why I’m here and what I need to do in order to stay sober. And always the opportunity to talk with someone just like me. To share both ways. That personal touch has always proved to be a way to quiet and sooth the energy within. Especially, when I find myself in a negative place. Part of what I learned in here. I can stop my day anytime and start it over. Going from the negative to the positive. Getting the help I need from others like myself. And always my Higher Power.
Anyway it helped take me back to where I need to be. To be in a spiritual place and seeking to stay sober one more day. I looked around and saw what a peaceful day this was and how much I am blessed. Still sober and still experiencing those promises we were given in the Ninth. Especially that new freedom and that new happiness. Makes me grateful.