Again one of the most important efforts on our part is the passing of this message on to he man or woman, who still suffers from alcoholism. I know I have had the opportunity to do this over and over again through my time in this program and I know that I feel afterward like I’m the real beneficiary. That’s although there are times I know I question what I have said.
Last night was one of those moments, when I went back afterward and questioned what I had done. There were two or three on the edge people in a meeting of just six people. One of them I know is a very intellectual, well educated person. The other I thought about was a person, who is fairly limited. Both of them have been in and out of this program over and over.
The well educated person was talking about the danger of drinking alcohol and dying. Brought up the thought of two people who had died of something that alcohol directly causes. I had almost died of this when I was sober for almost two years. The result of the damage alcohol had done to me. He seemed to be really fearful in what he was saying. Don’t blame him, if that’s what he was thinking.
However, as we sat there at the end, something kept creeping into my mind and I knew what it was. It was about the disease of alcoholism and its nature. My thoughts went back to the First Step in the 12&12 and what it said about those, who came in and got past the question of being powerless. I thought about these two people and wondered if that wasn’t what was going on. My thought was that if we could understand what we have is a true genetic disease, for which there is no cure, but which will kill us, if we continue to drink, then we needed to talk about that.
That’s exactly what I did. I brought the nature of this disease up and got into a discussion about it’s impact on the alcoholic. I told them what had happened to me after I had gotten sober and almost died. I know it startled them. I then talked about this incurable sickness we have and its true nature. It became a discussion. Not an argument, but one in which the need to understand was expressed. My hope was that as a result one or both would surrender and remain and stay sober.
Anyway it was something I thought about today and discussed with a friend of mine in this program. We were talking about compassion again and I entered this into that conversation, because that’s what I hoped I had expressed last night. I know I’m powerless, but I can hope. I also know I have never changed a person’s mind. Ever. Unless they were open and ready to change. My hope was that there were a couple of open minds and a willingness to change.
Just thinking about sobriety and my need to work this program and stay sober. Grateful for what I have been given.