Talking to others over the past week I had to conclude that there are things which interfere with our opportunity to be happy. A number of things which come into our consciousness and interfere with our feelings and thinking.
One of those is the very fact that we alcoholics are always going to be humans and not saints. We still have our faults, our defects, which interfere with our lives. We end up having feelings of guilt and remorse. Leads to uncomfortable life filled with remorse and even fear.
One of the things I could share was what I have learned in here and what I do to maintain my happiness and avoid those things which interfere with my day. I stopped drinking. That made me happy. Unbelievable and amazing. And I know that I didn’t come here to spend it in unhappiness and living on edge. I had already experienced that when I was drinking. And I know how rough it was early on in this program. I also know that, when I started to put this program into action in my life, I started to experience change, which made me feel much better.
I have to pay attention to what goes on in my life in this program. For me it’s part of my being sober. I remember reading that eternal vigilance is the price of my sobriety. And that’s where my maintaining consciousness plays a big role. The facts are however that, like I said, I’m still human. My focus is going to wander off and my emotions will pop up and I’ll find myself at times tripping over my faults. I have a quick for-getter.
For me this is where I have to catch myself and remind myself of the Second and Third Steps. I have to stop my day and begin it all over again. To turn it around. I learned that from my sponsor and those other old timers in here. I learned how to step back, say a prayer. To turn it over to my Higher Power. To let go and let God. To apologize if I have to. To learn to forgive myself and get on with the rest of the day.
Then, besides my prayers and perhaps meditation, it would be well for me to talk to my sponsor or another sober alcoholic. Not a critic, but someone who is helpful. Someone with what I need. A positive thinker. I need a positive attitude, which I know I can attain through the help of my Higher Power and support I can get from others like myself.
I never want to drink again and I know I have to obtain what this program offers to all its members. A restoration to sanity. A spiritual awakening. Freedom from the bondage of alcohol. A new freedom and a new happiness. Peace of mind and serenity. I know all of this is available through practicing these spiritual principles in all of my affairs. And I know that when I stumble I have to learn how to pick myself up, dust myself off, and get back on track and not get hung up with unhappiness. To learn how the God of my understanding understands alcoholics like me.
I was thinking today and sharing how I have learned to begin my day with smiles. To start it off with a positive attitude and to pay attention and maintain that. Anyway, just thinking about staying sober today and being grateful for all I have been given in here.