Yesterday I was in a store, getting a cup of coffee, when one of the women, who works there was getting a cup also. I remarked that New Years Eve was known as amateur night. She laughed and said that she agreed. She would never think of going out that night. Was she one of us? My guess is “yes”. However, maybe a still practicing “professional”.
Made me think of how many alcoholics are still out there. There are probably a million and a half alcoholics in AA. The overwhelming alcoholic population is still out there. Someone estimated that number to be twenty million.
Whether that last number is correct or not, it makes me grateful to be one of those, who made it into this program. How fortunate I am. And when I look around in the rooms at others like myself, I think of how blessed we all are. Free of alcohol at last. What a miracle.
All of this because we all found a higher power, no matter what we consider that higher power to be. It doesn’t matter what we think the spiritual life is or isn’t. All I know is that, if I will practice the principles of this program, I can stay sober today.
Bill W. found this out to his dismay, when he tried to get some early candidates to believe as he did. The result was that he drove them away. He writes about this in the Language of the Heart, where he said he was suffering from spiritual pride and regretted what he had done.
In composing the BB, Bill and the many, who contributed, made it clear that we are never compelled to believe anything we don’t want to. All that is required is a desire to stop drinking. Whatever it is that we choose to follow is all right, as long as it makes sense to us. No one in this program is authorized to preach or teach to the new man or woman coming into the program. That is clearly stated in the chapter Working With Others.
Then there is a conflict of interest, which bugs me at times. I have this thought that I want to keep the groups I know to myself. I don’t want any new people coming in. I want the group of friends to myself.
I think of how easily I can forget what it was like for me, when I came in. How awful I felt. What alcohol had done to me to cause me so much suffering. When I do remember, my heart goes out to the new person. Then the door is open and all are welcome. I want them to have what I found in here. The solution. The restoration to sanity. Freedom from the awful things alcohol did to me.
I can still remember the 12th Step calls to which my first sponsor would take me. I saw the suffering. I often could feel it. Why wouldn’t I want them to find what I had found? A new freedom and a new happiness. Peace of mind and serenity.
A new way of life.
Funny how all of this started with thinking about last night, New Year’s Eve. I’m still grateful I didn’t have to go through a repeat of that.