For this alcoholic I have to think about what’s acceptable and what’s not acceptable. At one point in my life the only acceptable thing was alcohol. A lot of the other stuff in my life was totally unacceptable.
All that’s changed now that I’m sober. It’s almost amazing, looking back at what was and what is now. Now the thing, which is totally unacceptable, is that next drink.
I came in here and surrendered to that 1st Step. There was no argument. I had to accept that I was powerless over alcohol. It owned me. If I wanted my life and freedom, I had to accept that 1st Step all the way. And I did. I still do today. I accept the fact that I’m still powerless over alcohol totally. That will never change. It will be with me and that way for the rest of my life.
I accept the fact that I suffer from a disease, which is progressive. No matter what goes on in my life I am still an alcoholic. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. That’s me. I accept that wholeheartedly. Absolutely. Anything else is unacceptable. I can never forget that…or can I?
When I look around and go back in time and see so many like myself, who had long term sobriety, who somehow found it acceptable to go back out and pick up that next drink, I know it’s possible. Unacceptable, but possible.
One of the things I know, which has kept me on track, are those things, which were presented to me by the program, which at first I found unacceptable. But, because of my bottom, I was able to turn that around and accept them. Thank God I did. And the first one was that I discovered that, if I was to stay sober, I was going to have to accept the fact that only a spiritual way of life would keep me sober.
Unacceptable! That was my first reaction. I came here, I said, to stop drinking. I didn’t come here to become a saint or a little goody two shoes. Don’t worry, my sponsor replied. There’s no fear of that happening. And I surrendered and accepted.
Some times things I have to accept were hard to swallow at first. But in time I have discovered that all things change. Always. I changed, because of this program. Because I did accept.
I accept that there’s no graduation from this program. I accept that it’s a day at a time. I accept that nothing is worth a drink today. I accept that I have a higher power, who has restored me to sanity. The sanity, which tells me that drinking alcohol is never acceptable for an alcoholic like me.
I accept that my sobriety is not my own. I accept that my sobriety is in the hands of my higher power. I accept that I have a God of my understanding. I accept that I don’t understand. But I accept the hand of help from other alcoholics like myself, who help me to stay sober a day at a time.
Anyway, I was thinking about staying sober and someone mentioned what was acceptable and unacceptable. That made me sit down and think about this. I’m glad I did.