Couldn’t help but think this morning about knowledge and the mystery of this program.
A long time ago my sponsor told me that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I knew.
It was a difficult process for me in this program to surrender so much of my ego and my thinking that I knew better. I had to be told to shut up and listen. I knew how to drink, but I didn’t know how to get sober. As much as that got my ire up, there was something inside of me, which said, this is good for you. Imagine! Where did that come from?
As I was reading the 24 Hour a Day book this morning, it talked about the time it takes to grow, progress, and develop in this program. I had to throw away much of what I thought I knew. Especially, when it came to the spiritual life. It took the Steps to help me to come to some understanding and get an open mind.
I remember reading in There Is A Solution, where Dr. Jung is talking to the young man. He tells him that he had never been successful with an alcoholic of his description. I could identify with the young man. When the man told the Dr. that he had religion, the Dr. told him that it did not spell the necessary vital spiritual experience he would need to get sober. Again I could identify. I had the mind of a chronic alcoholic.
Then, as I sat there thinking about all of this, I realized that the only way was to surrender and accept this higher power of mine. Doesn’t matter what I think I know. All I have to know is that it’s not up to me. Now I realize why all those old timers I knew always would say, “I don’t know how or why it works, it just does.”.
Coming into this program I had lost contact with the God I once knew. I was spiritually bankrupt, as so many say. I had to learn to surrender and give up doing things my way. None of them had worked. And then I had to learn about the solution and what did work. The result? I am sober. Not just free of alcohol, but sober. I’m so grateful. I owe it all to my higher power and this program.