At the meeting today something I think about a lot was part of it. There was a problem. Someone wanted to talk about their feelings. Really almost started to be a therapy session. And we’re not therapists or should we be. The BB tells us there are people outside of the program whom we should seek out, if we have such problems. Doctor’s, psychologists, ministers, and a lot more.
What came to mind was what it is that keeps me coming back. And that’s really simple. Alcohol. That’s what drove me in here and it’s what keeps me going. Very simple.
I am an alcoholic. A chronic alcoholic, suffering from the disease of alcoholism. There’s no cure for this disease, but the program has a way of dealing with this. The Second Step. The spiritual program, coming to believe in a Power greater than myself, and being restored to sanity, or the spiritual awakening.
I expressed my happiness at being an alcoholic. If I weren’t, I would never have had the opportunity to join this program, which has changed my life for the better. And all I had to do was stop drinking and put this program into action.
Surrender. Because of my bottom, as painful as it was, I gave up and asked my Higher Power to help me to stop drinking. And that’s exactly what happened. Talk about a miracle. At least that’s the way I see it. It was my bottom that drove me to do the things this program asks of us. I knew that I was on the verge of death. In fact I had reached the point where I preferred death rather than go on drinking. But I couldn’t stop. The God of my understanding did that for me.
And that’s it. All I have to do is work these Twelve Steps, go to meetings, pray, ask for help from my Higher Power and those sober around me, and seek the solution, which has been given to us. Not complicated, unless I make it that way. I’d rather talk about and listen to what works than what doesn’t.
Like my favorite passage in the 12&12 points out, I came here to listen as only the dying can. It was here I learned the fatal nature of this disease and what I needed to do about it. Sure I had problems, when I walked through the doors. Tons of them. But over time the program began to solve them. The solutions were spiritual. And, yes, I did have to go and talk to others outside the program. Doctors and a therapist, who became my spiritual director for a couple of years.
And that was the point. I was given suggestions and some directions. If I would but listen, which took time. That’s because my ego kept getting in the way. I thought I knew everything and learned that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. But that’s what my sponsor was for. To help me clear away the junk I brought in with me.
Anyway, all of this is not an overnight affair. Time takes time. And I learned, if I would but hang in and not quit, keep coming back, don’t become complacent, get some humility, become grateful, be willing to help those around me, as they have helped me, that I would arrive at a point of peace and happiness. Something I never really had until I came here. It’s not complicated…but I know I’m the only one who can complicate it. I’d rather keep it simple.