I was thinking of several things this evening concerning sobriety. One of them is my own sobriety. That’s because today I celebrated another year in the program. I was going to pass on this, because I was afraid it would sound too much like praising myself. I didn’t want to do that.
So I’ll pass on the time in here. It’s enough to go back and remember who really are responsible for my still being sober. One of them, of course, is my old sponsor. He added so much to my life and gave me the guidance I needed to stay sober. I have never forgotten him and often still quote him. Another was his widow, who died this past year, after 59 years sober herself. What great people they were and still are in my mind.
Of course I owe much to those old timers I knew back then, when I came in. They were able to cut me down to right size. I came in with so much insanity from my drinking and they often knew just what to say to get my attention. But they showed me understanding I never had before. They also gave me examples of what and how to lead a sober life. You could see the effects these 12 Steps had on each of their lives. And they were leading a spiritual life. That was very clear to me.
Then there are the close friends I made in this program over time. They gave me the support I needed and helped me greatly. They also talked to me about the spiritual life and this program. Some are still around and in contact with me. And some are gone, but not forgotten. They too gave me their examples of how to live this way of life.
There are so many more I meet on a daily basis, who carry the messages I need to hear to remind me what this program is all about. I am so grateful for their help. I hope I can keep on coming and being reminded of what I need to remember in order to continue to live this sober life. I need their examples. I know I cannot stay sober by myself and am happy to have them in my life.
Then there is my Higher Power, who has saved my life and gotten me free of alcohol. The spiritual awakening. The restoration to sanity. And so much more. I pray that I will follow the directions given me to pray and meditate each day. I may fall short often, due to my faults and my being a human being and not a saint. But I have been given the tools to continue to change.
What I’m thinking about is that it’s not me that earned this “chip” I was given today. It’s all the above and more, who have earned this memento I’m holding. I can only be grateful for what I have been given.
There are others, who also contributed to this way of life I have. For instance I can think back to the bartender, who stopped me, when I was going out to commit suicide, because I could no longer go on drinking, but couldn’t stop. It was he, who got the alcoholic next door and brought him over to take care of me. And that man knew a member of the program and called him and then told me what he said. And that was the beginning of my becoming willing to surrender and change my whole life. It was the beginning of hope in the darkness of my despair. And that was the beginning of faith. Just thinking.
Anyway, just wanted to take time to express my gratitude to so many. I owe my life and my sobriety to them. I hope I never ever forget.