I’m always surprised and amazed, when someone asks me for help or advice. Who am I? I have to think that there is nothing special about me. I’m just another alcoholic, who is trying to stay on the road to living a sober life one day at a time. No different than anyone else in this program.
I’m aware that I need help. That’s why I go to meetings and talk to others. And I do listen to others. I learned that in here. I learned that from my sponsor. Moreover I learned that I need a Higher Power and it’s not me. When I find myself taking over I hope I know that I’m headed for trouble.
I talked to someone earlier this evening and knew that I didn’t have the answer to what was troubling him. But I also knew that there are others, who do. I recommended that he get in touch with these people and listen to them. Will he? I have no idea. I’m powerless to get anyone to do anything they need to do. I can only hope and turn it over to my Higher Power.
Often, when I talk with others, I tell them what I heard. I’m not the source. I know I can share my experience, strength, and hope from what I have learned in here. There are a lot of great people I have met along the line. They became my “teachers”. If I’ve been able to apply what I learned from them to my life then it might be useful and I will pass that along.
I learned a lot from associating with and watching those old timers I knew back many years ago. Their examples were what I needed to outgrow my insanity and immaturity. They helped me to overcome the unmanageable life I brought in with me from the streets and barrooms.
That immaturity and my ignorance of how to live life was changed by their words and their examples, plus the Twelve Steps. And, once again, my relationship with my Higher Power.
I often have to laugh at myself, when I am in a place where I feel I’m right back at the beginning. Just starting this program. How dumb is that? Yet I just look around and know I’m still learning. I guess that never ends, as long as I’m here. There is no graduation from this program. When I find that I’ve stopped learning I guess I’ll be in real trouble. No way do I want that.
There are moments, when I’m tempted to say things, which are none of my business. I had moments like that today. Fortunately for me I was aware and left the room and went someplace else. However, when I was asked later on about what was going on I didn’t give any advice. I told them what I had heard and even quoted the man who said it. I believe it was Dr. Carl Jung. I know it was attributed to him. “Mental illness is contagious.” When we get sucked into an argument with a mentally ill person we validate in our minds their thoughts. That’s just one example and the one this person needed. They knew instantly.
I don’t know what started all of this. Just something I needed to think about and keep myself in perspective. Down to right size. Like I told my friend this evening, “look to see where your feet are”. That’s a beginning. To know where I stand and then to take the next step. But the minute I get my head in the clouds I better know that my feet are still on the ground. If they’re not I’m in trouble.
Anyway still thinking about sobriety. Asking for help from my Higher Power and listening to others. Especially at meetings. And still grateful for all I have been given. Still remember what that woman in the BB said. I don’t always get what I want, but I always get what I need. And when I get what I need, I find it’s what I wanted all along. Yes.