Wouldn’t it be nice, if I really knew something about the spiritual life I’m supposed to be leading. I was thinking about this and talking to a friend about this today. Trying to meditate on this subject.
That Second Step, coming to believe in a Power greater than myself, who could restore me to sanity. The beginning of trying live a spiritual life in this program. The start of my sobriety in this program. And eventually, as a result of working this program, having that spiritual awakening. The restoration to sanity. It’s described in the BB. Been there.
The Book tells me that the spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. To me and so many others it is the maintenance of my spiritual condition. That’s what is the basis of my staying sober, if I understand it correctly.
In a lot of ways this is a simple program. Not all that complicated, unless I want to complicate it. And, with a mind like mine, that’s often been the case. I’m constantly having to find a way to pay attention so that I can keep it simple. To keep my mind focused on my primary purpose. To stay sober and help another alcoholic. If I can do that, I guess I am doing what I’m supposed to do.
But prayer and meditation play an important role in all of this. Asking for the help I need. And believe me I find that I’m often in need of that aid from my Higher Power. How often I discover I’m powerless over so many things in my life and have to find a way to let go and let the God of my understanding step in and do for me what I can’t do for myself. Like keeping my mouth shut, when I run into situations that are really none of my business. To get and maintain a positive attitude, when my emotions want to drag me down into the pits, because of a negative attitude wanting to dominate me.
On a daily basis I find that I’m looking for the peace and serenity the Promises in the Ninth Step give to us. A new happiness and a new freedom. I first got those and more, when I was working that Step. That’s when the Spiritual Awakening became clear to me. It wasn’t the first time either. I have discovered that I have been the recipient of other awakenings in this program. Even before I hit the doors.
And, as far as meditation goes, that’s what I have been doing on and off all day. The Eleventh Step. Not always easy for someone like me, whose mind is tempted to go off in all different directions. Some days are easier than others. Often I find that I can focus better at meetings.
Anyway, I was thinking about living this sober life. A spiritual life. Again I have to stop and give credit where it’s due. To my Higher Power for one. The main one. My old sponsor and all those old timers, who helped me grab onto this program and stick with it in spite of my faults and my stumbling. To keep coming back. To come to realize I can’t do this by myself. I need the people in this program to remind me. I am grateful.