Acceptance and the Serenity Prayer were part of today’s meeting. Actually it was also about the Eleventh Step. I know it was a meeting which was just as helpful to the new man or woman or an old timer. And then…
One of the things that came up was what a lot of us don’t want to get into, but which I know has cost some alcoholics their lives. Not just their sobriety. And that’s something back, when I came in was addressed by both men and women. What’s that? Ah, I can hear some saying, “shhhhh”. But I’m thinking about staying sober and not going back and picking up a drink.
Has something to do with acceptance. In fact a lot. Someone blurted out that they were having sex with someone and they were losing it. Not a great presentation. But it did bring up one of those things we were all told, when we came in. That was not to get into relationships, if we were not in one, when we came in. And even if we were in a relationship we had to chill out and stay away from things, which would endanger our sobriety.
Part of the problem I remember was self will. Ego. “I know what I’m doing?” Really? Here we are without any mental protection. Full of fear on the one hand, insanity of course, and we are going to do what? The bottom line is that we end up drinking and I’ve seen too much of the consequences over time. I could tell from what I heard that they weren’t listening to their sponsor and almost blaming them. In other words listening to themselves.
And that brought me right back to the Serenity Prayer and acceptance. What I always think, when it comes to acceptance and that’s surrender. I had to surrender to accept the First Step. Then surrender and surrender and accept the rest of the program. As time has gone on the Eleventh Step became a big part of all of this. My prayers and meditation. Asking for help and then learning to be quiet and listen.
None of this happens overnight, but sometimes we have to tell those we are working with what doesn’t work as well as what does. If someone doesn’t want it then I was told to move on to someone who does. I know it worked for me and I’m definitely grateful for that.
One young man told the group that he was a coward when he was out there drinking and that he was a coward when he came in here. I think that describes a lot of us. I know it was true in my case. But then the introduction of the spiritual life into my own and my sobriety changed all that.
But it took putting these Twelve Steps into action and continuing to put this program into action on a daily basis.
Today I have learned to accept the things I cannot change. And one of those is other people. Unless, of course, they want to change. Just thinking about staying sober.