Under the weather is what has been going on and I’m still not in the clear, but I haven’t forgotten why I came here and still think about sobriety. It’s still my number one priority despite what’s going on.
One of the things, which struck me today was what I guess we all were told at one point or another. I know I was told it right from the beginning. Don’t drink and go to meetings. That still works today.
Of course along with that is what we do between not drinking and going to meetings. And to me that was what all those early meetings did for me. They were Step meetings before…Oh, well.
I was glad that they had meetings like that, because they helped break down my prejudiced thinking. They opened the door to how this program works. I have a lot of gratitude that those old timers were there and helped me open my mind and my heart and my ears. I now know that there was a lot I needed to do to change myself within and without, so that I could begin to live a new life, which would help me to grow along spiritual lines and stay sober.
Of course that was just another way of telling a hard head like myself that I can’t stay sober by myself. I needed to learn that early on because my mind was clouded not just with alcohol, but the way I had been thinking and living. I needed to learn over and over again, through the pain that my old thoughts and feelings caused me, that I had to surrender and accept a completely different way of life.
Later on like so many I discovered that I had been taught some of this before, but it never ever reached me where it should. That’s one of the gifts of this program for me and others. What I had ignored or just didn’t understand has been offered to me in an entirely different way. It’s called don’t drink or you’re going to die. I got that message early on and started to listen to that if nothing else. Especially when I saw the evidence of that. So, when my sponsor finally got my attention I surrendered and accepted that Second Step. I came to get hope and believe in my Higher Power and things gradually changed. For the better.
Anyway I now understand that I need not to drink and go to meetings, but to practice these principles in all of my affairs. One day at a time. Grateful for all who guided me to this state and way of life, especially my Higher Power. Anyway just reminding myself again why I’m here.