I couldn’t help but think about hope today. When I hear someone tell me they’re bent on keeping this program whole it always lights up hope within me. It also brings the Second Step back into my mind. I find myself once again doing what I did, when my old sponsor got me to accept that Step. The concept of my Higher Power comes close to me and I find my faith renewed once more.
This person was very interested in our Traditions. Talk about renewed enthusiasm on my part. Well, theirs too I would guess. For myself I often find myself thinking like those old timers I knew when I first came into this program. How unified they were. They never wanted to see AA fail the same way the old Washingtonians did back in the 1800s, when they became divided, because of other issues. I can always remember them talk about the unity this program needed in order to be around when they were thinking about their children and grandchildren. They wanted the program to be here for them. They were aware of the genetic influence of this disease of alcoholism. It had happened to them, as it did with me, and they knew that there was always possibility of other alcoholics in their family in the future.
I heard some of them, who knew, or were aware, of what the founders said about the Washingtonians. They said what they lacked were Traditions. And they didn’t want this to happen to AA. So they drew up the Traditions for the whole program. And the First was about us sticking close together and protecting our primary purpose to stay sober from alcohol.
They had already been exposed to a lot of crazy things. Opening the door to all kinds of things and finding groups on the verge of collapse. Or things just falling apart. So they knew that they had to simplify things. And what is more simple than the reason this program started in the first place. Why we alcoholics came to this program. And that’s pretty much spelled out in that Third Step. The desire to stop drinking. Originally it was a little more strict spelling. But they settled for the “desire” to begin to rid ourselves of alcohol.
I look back at that First Tradition and remember what I was told when I came in. That somehow I was going to have to develop some humility. To be willing to put this huge ego of mine aside, which always wanted to control things, and step back and leave my personal agendas outside the doors of this program. Not always easy for an egomaniac like me. Of course I have witnessed those who did not want to give up their personal agendas. Not always pretty to say the least.
When I look at what pretty much governs and runs this program for us, I mean the spiritual part of this program, which none of us can live without, despite our beliefs. The Second Tradition begins to pull that up in front of us. But what always would hit me was the “long form” of Tradition Five. Actually the shortest of the long forms. It’s right up front, when it says that the Group ought to be a spiritual entity. Or a whole “being”. And then it talks about its primary purpose to carry the AA message to the alcoholic who still suffers. The Twelfth Step as a group.
That’s when I often go to the First Step in the 12&12, which talks about our need to hit a bottom. To suffer enough pain within to get someone like me to surrender to the fact that I am powerless over alcohol and, if I want to live, I have to find a way to stop and get sober.
To listen to the spiritual entity of the group as only the dying can listen.
And just to step aside for a moment, who is the alcoholic who still suffers? Not always the “new” person. It could be anyone of us, who are suffering from our emotions, and not willing to ask for the help we need from our Higher Power and the sober alcoholics around us. I’ve seen that from time to time and have been there myself.
When we were new, back when I came in, Tradition meetings were part of our group’s purpose. At least once a month on Tues. I can always remember how we “new” people would grumble. We had no idea what we were talking about. We always thought it was only the Steps which would help us to stay sober. The Traditions? How far off base we were. And just like my sponsor and others pointed out to me, that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I knew. How right he was. The Traditions are there to insure that self centered alcoholics like me will stay sober.
Anyway just thinking about this makes me hopeful that I have remembered why I am here this day. To stay sober. To continue to depend on my Higher Power. To have faith that He will do for me what I cannot do for myself. To give me the strength and power I need to live a sober life a day at a time. And to remember to combine that hope and faith with love and extend the hand of AA out to the alcoholic who still suffers, whether old or new. Never want to forget. Makes me grateful for all I have been given by my Higher Power and so many in here. Thanks.