Talk about being restored to sanity, what is it about this self centered mind of ,mine, which tells me that I can control the world around me?
Once again I am reminded of what it says in How It Works in the BB. The part that talks about wanting to be the producer and director. The one, who wants to star in the show, get all the actors to do what he wants, and find out that none of this works. Who do I think I am?
I was thinking about this this morning and this evening. I’m sitting there, looking at the world around me and trying to arrange things in my mind. I had to tell myself to stop. Shut up. Mind my own business. Ask my higher power for help.
Humility is the answer. Surrender and acceptance. I’m hardly able to take care of my own little corner of the world. I have to remember that I’m just another drunk, who is trying to stay sober this day. Only this one day. That I’m not dependent on me. I’m dependent on my higher power. I’m dependent on those in the group I attend for the help I need. I can’t do this alone.
That’s the message in How It Works. The message spelled out in the 4th Chapter. What I need to pay attention to is that I need to step aside and let my higher power come into my life.
That 1st Step, admitting I’m not only powerless over alcohol, but my life is unmanageable. The first part is about my primary purpose. What I need to keep my attention on every day. But it’s the second part about my unmanageable life, which is so easy to slip to one side and get lost in my head.
What insanity to have an unmanageable life and trying to cook up something in my head to manage the world and others. Thank God for this program, which keeps on reminding me of who and what I am. Just another drunk, trying to stay sober.