The material world and all its chaos and the spiritual way of life I’m trying to live today often clashes. It comes into my mind and things tend to get terribly mixed up. Not that often, but, when it does, it messes with the serenity I have experienced in this program.
Without being aware of what it is doing to me, I find my mind projecting into the future. Wait a minute. I’m supposed to be living this life a day at a time. I should be focused on right now. This moment and nothing else.
I know that I’m not alone in this regard. How do I know? At a meeting today that’s what those alcoholics present there were talking about. Everyone identifying with each other. And why was that important? Because some felt their sobriety threatened by this kind of “thinking”. Elements of fear and worry pressuring them to think of a drink.
And the solution? Spiritual. Prayer and meditation and talking to another alcoholic.
When I talk to another alcoholic like myself, I find relief from the pressure I’ve built up inside. As long as I keep it to myself, the pressure within grows. I’ve learned and know from experience that a problem shared is a problem cut in half. That frees me to think about what works. I can pray and ask for help from my higher power. And, as several said, to repeat “Thy will not mine be done.”
When my mind is clouded it’s difficult to remember to do what I have learned in here. To keep hope alive and have the faith to rely on my higher power. When I do, I am restored to sanity. All this takes a resolve each and every day to persevere in following the tenets of the program. To stay positive instead of negative. That to me is sober living and sober thinking.
Finally to go to meetings on a regular basis. I can’t say it enough to myself, how effective these meetings are. I can walk into a meeting upset from my stuff and, when the meeting is over, I find myself relaxed and at peace. I get what I need. That can’t happen, if I’m not present. Plus I need to hear what it is that threatens alcoholics like me. If I’m not there, I’ll miss it.
Once again I think about what the BB says. That the spiritual life is not a theory. It has to be lived. I have to have a commitment. I hope and pray that I do. It’s what keeps me sober a day at a time. As one of my friends always says, nothing’s worth a drink today. Nothing is.