One of the things which popped up in my mind today is other people. Other people always interest me. Especially if they are sharing. When others share with me, if I’m honest with myself, I hear me.
I was thinking about this really the other day, when someone was sharing about their thoughts on anger and resentments. Not that I was even close to that at the moment, but I couldn’t help but think how familiar this all was. That was a description of how I definitely used to be. Just another indication that we are not alone.
And that’s what really got my attention. I’m not alone. As long as I am committed to this program, attending meetings, and trying to practice these principles in all of my affairs. I do realize that I cannot stay sober by myself. It’s the “we” of this program and not the “me”. Although I’m selfish. I’m the beneficiary.
However the peace I receive, as the result of all of this, does really take my mind off myself. Even when I’m participating in someone sharing with me, my mind is really not on me. It’s on them. And I’m aware of how much that’s a relief to me. I’m out of myself and involved in what I need to be. Compassion for someone else. Doing what I was conditioned to do, as a result of my sponsor and those old timers, who gave by example.
The other day I know I was thinking about how important it was for me to recognize the need for me to be “selfish”. That is that I need to remember, when it comes to my sobriety, I have to put myself at the top of the list. However that doesn’t mean that I’m not part of the “we”. It just means that I know why I am here and never want to forget it. When I fail to remember that I put myself at risk to begin to weaken in my commitment and open the door for failure.
I also know that I am here to do what this program told me I need to do, if I want to stay sober. And part of that is to be open and committed to help another suffering alcoholic. It’s part of that old saying, we can’t keep it, if we don’t give it away. I learned that really at the beginning of my coming here. Again, I never want to forget that.
All of this is part of the spiritual way of life I know I need to practice in this program. I know how powerless I really am. I need the help of my Higher Power in all of this. It begins in the morning for me. My turning my will and my life over to him and asking for the help I will need during the day. It really does have something to do with the Serenity Prayer. My being powerless over people, places, and things. I need all the help I can get.
I have to remember how often I think, after I have spoken to someone who shared, that maybe I was of no help at all. And the funny thing about that is that I end up feeling that I’m the one who really has been helped.
Anyway that was what made me stop and step aside and think, meditate, on this subject. My involvement with others. It really has become a way of life for me. And, like I said, I was freely given this, not only by my Higher Power, but all those who have helped me in this program. All because I did become part of the “we”. I have to think how privileged and blessed I have become as a result.
All this is a reminder once more of how much I have to grateful for in this program. Not just the sobriety itself but my relationship with my Higher Power and all those I have met in this program.