Projections were something my old sponsor warned me to avoid. I mean, here I am in a day at a time sobriety. He told me that I was to stay in this day and not to go further. I had to always check where my feet were and not to go any further. I might have plans in the time ahead of today, but I’m to leave them alone for this day.
Of course this mind of mine wants to check my plans out. So I often have gone ahead and thought about what it would be like, when the day came. Just as often my mind would run back to the past, where something similar had happened. And then my emotions would run in and take over. Anger, worry, fear, resentments, self pity and so many other things begin to run my mind.
I am so glad my sponsor and others would tell me that I not only needed to stay in this day, but those feelings were false. They were taking over my thinking and running my life. I heard from them that I had to learn to not believe in the thoughts my feelings were pushing into me. And I had to develop a positive attitude, rather than a negative one. To stop my day and start it over again.
Of course all of this, I was told, had to be helped by the spiritual way of life in here. To deal with the truth and not the lies my negative emotions were filling me with. I was told to stop and step into privacy, if possible, and pray and even take a few moments of meditation. Then to come out smiling, back into the positive.
Of course, all of this makes me grateful. I owe so much thanks to my Higher Power, for all the gifts I have been given in this program. And then the help of my sponsor and those old timers, as well as everyone else, who have helped me along the way. And, I think of how much those, who seek help, have lifted me up from the darkness of the negative emotions. It gives me peace and happiness. Thanks.