One of the hardest things for me to accept, after I had been sober a while, was myself. Not that I was walking around criticizing myself, but I never actually accepted the changes I had undergone. If anything I would start my day laughing at myself.
On the one hand that laughter was helpful in a way. It started each day in a positive mood. I would meet others and had a smile and it was often returned. I hated having negative attitudes and would step back and start my day with the Third Step Prayer, followed by the Serenity Prayer. And that often opened the door within me to be grateful. I was given the reality of my life.
I was thinking about self acceptance today, because I was reading a spiritual thought. I can never forget what one old timer used to repeatedly talk about. That was our attitudes. His statement was that attitudes are everything. They’re more important than facts. He said our attitudes could change the facts. And then he would always tell a story.
He said that we could wake up to a beautiful day and be filled with the positive and have a wonderful day. The next day we could wake up to the same kind of beautiful day, but be filled with negativity and have a horrible day. The difference would be our attitudes. We could have a positive attitude both days or the negative on the second. He told us, when we find ourselves caught up in the negative, both days were the same. All he said, was to change the facts by changing our attitude from the negative to the positive and we would end up having a nice day.
He told us to step back and ask for our Higher Power to help us change and then stop and rest for a moment and then change our attitudes and we would be happier than before. Pretty much what my old sponsor and those old timers told me I needed to learn to stop my day and start over again, when I got caught up in negativity. And it worked.
Anyway, just thinking this morning about changing. And to begin my day to stay cool. I do that by beginning the morning with prayer and some thoughts. Bringing my life into the spiritual way of life I need to live, along with the Steps in this program, and to also practice the Traditions. To live a sober life one day at a time. It makes me so grateful it’s hard to imagine. But there it is. A wonderful life given me by my Higher Power and this program. Makes me grateful.