One of those things I have learned in this program is that I’m not in charge. I’m just a human alcoholic, who fortunately surrendered and was freed and relieved of drinking alcohol. Then I came into this program and gave up what I thought I knew. Then I began to learn what it was that I never really knew.
All that alcohol I was drinking all those years out there, I surrendered, after I was given the gift of hope by a friend, who introduced me to AA. That night I prayed and gave my alcohol over to the God of my understanding. I also offered Him my life. And the alcohol was gone.
Then I came into this program. I was told to “Shut Up!” and to begin to listen. One of those things I learned back then was I needed to empty my mind out. What I had learned before in college and life had nothing to do with what it was that I needed to do. I had to leave all my stuff out in the other room and come in and pay attention and begin to learn.
I was told that I didn’t need to read the BB of Alcoholic Anonymous. Instead I had to study it. And that was the beginning of trying to learn what it was that I needed to do. But I also needed the guidance of “old timers” in here, who knew what it was that I so desperately needed. They had to show me and lead me along the way. It was from them that I had to learn that I needed time to learn and grow in here
I first had to learn that I needed to stay sober a day at a time. Then I needed to learn that I was going to have to develop something I lacked. Patience and a lot more. That time was going to take time. A lot of time. Along the way I needed to learn about things I lacked. Like truth. Honesty. And growing in faith, hope, and love. Spirituality. I also had to learn to grow in compassion. I had to turn my life over and start to live a very different life. Different thoughts. Forgiving and forgetting. Gratitude. And a whole lot more.
But overtime I began to experience peace and happiness. And, like I was told, I had to begin to focus on staying in the present time, when staying sober a day at a time. I had to be willing to stay in the now and avoid projecting into the future, which could do a lot of damage to someone like me. And not go into the past either. And to be grateful to my Higher Power and all the people in this program, who were helping me. And, of course, being grateful for all I have been given, which has changed my life. I need to say “Thanks”.