There was a fairly new person today, who was talking about his reaction to having difficulties. I think it reminded myself and others as to what we all went through. Heard a lot of things from those in here. Most were I think trying to give him things, which could help his reactions.
As for myself I can’t remember all the things. That was a while ago. But I can not forget what my old sponsor and some of those old timers passed onto me. One of those was what was in the BB. That we’re not saints. We’re human alcoholics. My sponsor always reminded me of that. He told me, as did others, that over the years we would stumble and fall, tumble, and crumble, because our humanness would often take charge. Our defects would take over and we would have to stop and ask our Higher Power for help.
Next we would have to not just pray, but take some time to still ourselves and get our minds back in charge, instead of the negative emotions. Then we were told that we had to change our negative attitudes back into the positive attitudes. Also we were then to stop our day and start over. Always to go back with smiles and pleasantness. Always remember these things.
We were also told that these things would go on until the end of our lives. Again, that was because, in spite of trying to be spiritual, the facts were that we would always be open to this stuff, because of, not just our alcoholism, but our being human.
So, I have always remembered all of this, when I find myself stumbling over my old junk. Like he said to me, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start over again. I think I try to do this, when my mind wanders off. However the number of these is far less that they were earlier on. And the effects of these negative emotions have lessened.
I know from the past that I had to lighten up, rather than find myself being pulled down into a ditch. I learned to become more quick in seeking to be restored to sanity. So it’s not all that crippling. Just another part of trying to stay sober a day at a time. Makes me grateful for all the help I have been given. To keep things simple and to grow in my dependence on my Higher Power and this program.