Listening to a few new people today was a wake up call. Not just for me, but a few others. And what I heard failing in the room was that time takes time. Not right now. But there are those, who have been helped by their sponsors, who think they know what they are talking about. I’ve seen a number of these over the years, who have gone back out and never got back.
The concept that time takes time was a wake up call for me. I came in here, having done my First Step, not knowing what I was doing. That surrender to my Higher Power was exactly what freed me from alcohol. But that’s all I had, when I walked through these doors. Knew nothing about this program, or even myself. And then I got a wake up call. A couple of them, as a matter of fact.
The first came from an old timer, who had caught me talking like I knew what I was doing. He yelled out at me that I needed to shut up! I didn’t know what I was talking about. I knew how to drink, but I didn’t know how to stay sober. I was to take the cotton out of my ears and put them in my mouth. I had to learn how to listen and then do what I was told to do and stay sober a day at a time.
The next was two men, who had resentments and, like the BB tells us, they went back out and drank again and died. One was my first sponsor, who had ten years in. The other, who also had ten years, did the same thing. Yet, just before he died he told me what was going on.
Both were wake up calls and stopped me from the direction I was headed in. I got my second sponsor, an old timer, who took over and began to help me change and do what I needed to do. From him I learned that I could only stay sober a day at a time. I could only begin to learn a little bit at a time. He also showed me how dumb I was. He then had me begin to read the BB. Then he pointed out that I had to study the Second Step.
That backed me up. Though I had studied a lot, I was told that would be of no help. I was going to have to learn the basics in here. And that included me beginning to grow along spiritual lines and acquiring a Higher Power, as I was to call Him. And then, over time in here I was to learn to put the Steps into my life.
What I learned over time, kept changing. Like we were told, Time Takes Time. Not an overnight event. Just one day at a time.
I looked at those today, who like so many in here, had walked in from these “Rehabs”. And in there they learned that all they had to know was given to them there. I’ve heard them repeat that over and over again. However I have seen so many of them fall back out into a barroom. And many of them have died as a result. Too bad. I feel sorry for them, but I also know what that Serenity Prayer has taught me. I have to accept the things I cannot change.
Anyway I feel sorry for people like this. Just grateful that I had those old timers, who had “slapped me around” and woke me up. Not a real “slap”, but wake up calls. I learned that I could only stay sober today. I had to not just practice these Steps, but I had to pray and meditate and ask for help. And I got that help over time in here. I have never gone back out and drank again. I don’t ever want to.
I know that alcohol is still there and dangerous, even when I’m never thinking about it. I know I need to go to meetings and be reminded of what it is I need to do each and everyday. Makes me grateful for all I have been given in here. And I need to say “Thanks”, to my Higher Power, those great old timers, my old sponsor, and everyone in here, who have helped me so freely.