Had to think about a subject brought up today. It was loneliness. That and the Eleventh Step. Both independently. However the first subject gave me a problem.
One of the things my sponsor and those old timers told me was that I was to keep my personal problems out of the group meetings. If I had personal problems I was to take them to my sponsor and share it with him or some other member of this program. Outside the meeting.
I was told, much like the BB points out, that there are others for this kind of stuff outside the program. Psychiatrists, psychologists, counselors, physicians, attorneys…and the list goes on. But none of them are in the meetings. Even if they had degrees in all of this. That’s not what we’re there for. I was told that the meetings are there to learn the Steps, the Traditions, and how to get sober and live a sober life. The spiritual life. Not a religious life.
That latter almost came up in the meeting today, when someone got into names and quotes from religious books. We have to go back and read how AA separated itself from religion and opened the door for alcoholics to get sober, regardless of their beliefs or disbeliefs. We’re not here to teach anyone about our concept of a God of our understanding or a Higher Power. That’s up to the new man or woman to make up their mind on what it is that makes sense to them. As long as they can learn to live a spiritual way of life. Again their interpretation of what that is.
What always happens, when someone brings up a personal problem, others get into expressing opinions or giving advice. Nothing relating to the reality of what’s going on. I’ve even seen an alcoholic, in trying to respond to someones personal problem, launch into diagnosing the individual and even prescribing for him. And, of course, the person doing this was not even a physician or psychiatrist. And often it has nothing to do with practicing this program and entering into the spiritual life and staying sober.
However the fact that the Eleventh Step was also entered into in the meeting opened the door to what is a solution for all these problems. The reminder that the spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. Meaning we have to learn to practice this program. To put it into action.
However I was also reminded of the Fifth Tradition. The group’s primary purpose. To carry the AA message to the alcoholic, who still suffers. And that’s what a number of those here today tried to bring to our attention. Many discussed the Fourth and Fifth Steps. Opening up and sharing our problems with our sponsors or others. The beginning of the end, for most of us, of our habitual walling out of others. The start, I know for me, of ending my isolation. It was an opening of seeking answers to my problems from those men and women, who have had experiences in all of this.
Again it was a real reminder to me that I needed to get in touch with my Higher Power. To ask for the help I need to overcome my weaknesses. One of which is that I cannot change anyones mind about anything, if they don’t want to hear it. I’m powerless. But I know, if nothing else, the God of my understanding can give me the strength and peace of mind to deal with situations like this. And that’s where I got there and here, as I stop and think about all of this.
Anyway I just needed to once more concentrate on my desire to stay sober. And of course, who it is that has helped give me the strength I need to change and do all of this. The Second Step. My Higher Power. My thanks to my Higher Power for all he has done and, of course, all those men and women in here, who have helped me.