Can’t help but think about what it is that keeps me sober. All this weekend people having been talking to me about the solution. The spiritual life.
At the end of all these talks I know less than when I started.
Oh, I know I think I know something, but that’s just my ego talking. In truth the spiritual life is a mystery to me. I just try to do the next right thing. I try to have a conversation with my higher power most days. I attempt meditations almost every day. I go to meetings and listen for the solution. I talk to others, who can keep me on track. I try to read the literature of this program and learn more. And I do think about practicing these principles in all of my affairs.
All of this is imperfect, of course. I make mistakes, or fall short of the mark. Like my sponsor once told me, that I could screw up a one car funeral. That’s just me. But I’m going to continue to try to live a better life, a spiritual life, one day at a time.
I think of my higher power frequently. Without my higher power in my life, I would have no power at all. That may sound like a cop out. But it’s not. I came in here lacking power, not just in alcohol, but in a lot of areas of my life. I had to learn how to live to start with. I really didn’t know how. And that’s where belief in a higher power came in. And ever since my hope and my faith in my higher power has grown. I’ve seen the evidence in my life and I witness it everyday in the lives of others just like me.
Anyway, I’m just glad that people felt open enough to talk to me about this. Makes me grateful that others like me have problems just like me and have found the solution just like me. I’m not alone. I haven’t been since I came in. After all this time it still amazes me. I owe my higher power and all alcoholics my thanks for helping me.