Once in a while I may stop and think about the word “peace”. The reason I really don’t is that it’s probably because that is exactly where I’m am at the time. One of the most amazing things in this program for me, is that I was given this virtue, back about the same time I was in that Ninth Step.
Not that I didn’t experience peace from time to time, as I was struggling to put this program into action in my life. I went through, like so many of us, the ups and downs along the way. But there was a point in making amends, when I was given the Promises in that Ninth Step, and my life was amazingly changed. Never want to forget that moment.
Once again I can actually picture the moment, when I was making an amend. That’s when I had finished it and suddenly all my anger was gone, and all the resentments in my life disappeared. Peace came within me along with true happiness and the Promises came directly into my life. Later I could look back and see that the restoration to sanity was right there. I had stopped fighting everyone and everything, including alcohol. The spiritual awakening was right there.
In as sense I was almost overwhelmed at that time. Another thought came back to me after all of this. And that was the statement in the Ninth Step. That the spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. Reminds me of why I am here. Not always easy. And that’s when I find myself not really in peace with myself.
Of course that brings me back to why I am here in the first place. To stay sober a day at a time. I often need to become consciously aware of this. It’s a wake up call. I’m reminded of the Second Step and my being introduced to living a spiritual way of life and accepting a Higher Power, who supports my living a sober life. And then the Third Step, which has helped me to put this program into action with the help of so many alcoholics in here, who freely gave me what I needed.
Each and everyday, at some point I have to stop and think about this and be grateful for the life I have been given by my Higher Power and this program. And of course all those, who have helped me. I never want to forget my old sponsor. Nor his widow, who continued to help me, after he passed away. I need to stop and just say “thank you” to all I owe. Hopefully I will be able to help others like myself, which is a large part of gratitude.