One of the hardest things to take is the rejection of an alcoholic, who needs to get sober, has come to a meeting out of desperation, but who doesn’t want to talk. Ran in to that today.
Of course the first thing, which comes to my mind, is the Serenity Prayer. The things I cannot change. By now I should be used to that. In some of these things I have no problem accepting this. But, when it comes to a suffering alcoholic, it is more difficult for me. That’s because I want to help.
I’m not the only one, who has a problem with this. I heard from an old friend of mine the other day, who has someone whom they seem to be the sponsor, but they resist their help. Hard for them to accept the lack of change they need. I definitely understand that.
I mean I can well understand what this person is probably going through. They know they need the help to stop drinking, but cannot accept the fact that they really don’t know that they don’t know… the answers they need. I can remember what my old sponsor nailed me with. He told me that I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. In fact an old timer came up to me today and said he always remembered that my sponsor had told me that. It’s really what changed me.
However I must have been at that point, where I knew I needed answers I didn’t have. And his statement changed my thinking and got me to begin to act in honesty, which I had never done before. In fact, not long after that, he told me that I needed to read the fourth chapter in the BB, which is about the Second Step. I finally opened up and listened to him and did. It was what I needed. The beginning of the spiritual way of life in here.
I told that individual that I hoped he was suffering deep pain within. I knew it was that which changed me. I know that has been true of most the individuals in here. The pain coming from their despair. The despair, which had me going to commit suicide. And that’s when a friend of mine filled me with what I so desperately needed. Hope.
The individual today was given a lot of hope over and over again, as others talked to him. But apparently he couldn’t accept what he had been given. On the one hand I feel sorry for him. But on the other…I just have to accept what is going on with him. I can’t change him.
However I need to be grateful. I mean, like so many in the meeting today, we are all sober and there to remind ourselves that today is the day we need to stay sober. It’s the same each and every day. I need to be reminded of that. And that’s exactly what this individual did for me. He literally “told” me what it is I need to remember. I’m here to stay sober.