Can never forget a lot of what I learned in here from my old sponsor and some of those old timers. Never want to. One of those thoughts was concerning how I am doing. That was something of what was discussed at the meeting today. I heard a few, who were troubled by some things they had fallen into, which they hoped were gone. And they were thinking that maybe in the future this stuff would be gone.
On the one hand this is what most of us had hoped for, but for my part I learned from my own experiences that I would find myself stumbling over some my old stuff. My faults or defects, which I had hoped were gone. But there I would be, thinking something, saying something, or doing something I didn’t think I would ever do again.
And that’s where the BB and my sponsor would tell me that I might think I’m going to be free of all this stuff, but that was never going to be the truth. The truth I discovered was that I am human and alcoholic, not a saint. I was told I would find myself stumbling over some of my junk from time to time and I shouldn’t be surprised. I just needed to be ready to pick myself up and dust myself off and keep on keeping on. And how long would this be happening? The answer was that until the end of my life, just like everyone else.
Even though this stuff might happen, I no longer have a down effect as a result of these things. I have learned to do just what I was told I needed to do. Get back on my feet and continue to strive in changing myself. If I’m pulled down into a negative place I’m to stop and start my day over again. To pray and seek a positive attitude instead of a negative attitude. I’m to keep on keeping on. I can take the right kind of thoughts and actions. And to be grateful for all I have been given.
All of this has to do with why I am here in the first place. I am here to stay sober a day at a time. The negative stuff I may have to deal with is always just for now, not forever. I need to remember that I’m here to try to practice a spiritual way of life. If I stumble off of that path, I am to get right back on it and keep on keeping on, like I was told. To seek forgiveness, if I need that, and then to go ahead and not backwards.
That’s why I was given what I was given in here. Prayer, meditation, and to give this program to others, if I can. To always be open, no matter what. To keep an open mind and to try to do what is required of me to do what it is I’m supposed to be doing. To be open and share my life with others, whenever possible. And to be willing to accept the sharing of others. To go to meetings and keep on learning what it is I need to know each and everyday.
One of those things I know I need to hopefully keep out of my life is negativity. I need to be determined each day to practice hope and stay in contact with those I know, who can help me to continue to grow in here. To be as positive as I am able. And to give thanks to my Higher Power and all those I know, who have helped me along the way. And most of that is be willing to do what it was I have learned in here and stay sober each and everyday.