Today, of all days, is Thanksgiving. Had to stop and think, because I got so many wishes from many good friends in here. I had to respond and stop and think of how much I need to be thankful for.
The reason I am so thankful is because of what I have been given from the very start in here. And that was freedom from alcohol. My surrender to the God of my understanding, and waking up the next day, for the first time in years, not even wanting alcohol. I can never forget that. It’s with me each and everyday.
However there was one night, after a year or more in the program, when one of those statements in the BB hit me. It told me that there may come a time in my life, when I would not have any defense against that first drink. And that came, when I was out to dinner with my family. The men were offered a free bottle of beer from the owner of a package store. They tossed each other a bottle, and knowing I was trying to stay sober, they tossed me a soda. I caught it and at once was pulled down into a rage. For whatever reason I wanted a drink and thought I would kill anyone, who got in my way.
My wife was standing next to me and looked startled. She asked me what was wrong and I told her. She simply said that I needed to step out the door and pray and ask God for help. I hadn’t even thought of that and I did. I was freed almost instantly from what was dragging me down. Again I have been grateful for that gift and never want to forget that. But since have never been tempted or thought of a drink. Amazing.
I have been given so many gifts throughout my sobriety, it is amazing. But that basic gift I received, that freed me from alcohol, which had pulled me down into despair and suicide, I never ever want to forget. And I have so much thanks to give for all I received then. When a bartender stopped me from going out and killing myself and got a friend of mine to come in and talk to me. The man did and gave me the wonderful gift of hope. He told me that he had heard there was a place where men and women met and stayed sober and he would take me there, if that’s what I wanted. And it was. I knew nothing about the disease of alcoholism nor the program of AA.
Anyway I once again have to stop and give thanks for all I have been given. I owe so much to the God of my understanding and this program. And, of course the alcoholics in this program, who have given me so much help. Especially my old sponsor. But not just him. Those old timers back then, and all whom I have met over time. I need to stop and express my gratitude.