One of the things I picked up on today was the word “complacency”. Not always a pleasant thought. Not for me anyway. I know of too many, who have gone back out because of the fact that they had become complacent and lost contact with the program and its principles. The fact of this disease. Alcoholism.
I can remember a couple of people, who became complacent, pulled back from meetings, but didn’t drink. What did happen to them was that they became a little off mentally. One of them even used the word insane. Probably. I can understand that. I mean it was this program, which put them back on their feet mentally, spiritually, and physically. And then they became “bored”. Their thinking.
I can understand that in a way. The reason is that there was a time in here, way back when, that I slipped toward this way of thinking. I grew too comfortable with my way of thinking. Part of what was wrong with me. Exactly what my old sponsor told me back then. That I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I only thought I did. And how right he was. I’m so grateful for his guidance of me.
I think one of the dangers for us is exactly what I said. That we think we know what we’re doing. We “feel” that we’ve done the best we could and things are starting to be boring and we don’t want to sink into boredom. So, we step away from meetings. We may not be thinking about a drink, and that convinces us that we’re not alcoholics. Or it make us wonder what we were doing in this program.
Over time out there, we begin to think other things. And eventually we begin to slip back into our old way of thinking. We may not be aware of it. And what the old timers taught me begins to come true. Our egos, over sized to begin with, start to run our lives. We believe we’re in control. Our negative emotions begin to run our thinking, the “Eye” over “E”, intellect over emotions, comes into play. And along the way, many start to drink alcohol again. Probably not even aware of it until it’s too late.
Anyway, all of this was good for me to stop and think about once again. I never want to drink again and I know I have to apply this program to my life daily. I need to remember that I’m here to stay sober one day at a time. To stay in the present moment and not project beyond where I am at the moment. To ask for help from my Higher Power and those around me. To be open and honest. To reach out to others and freely give what was freely given to us. And to be grateful to the God of my understanding and all those in here who have helped me along the way. Again, thanks.