I was reading something today, which reminded me of a virtue given to me, when I was deep into despair. And that was hope. I never ever want to forget that. It saved and changed my life.
I still go back to remind myself of what it was that removed alcohol from my life for the first time in years. I was on my way out the door to kill myself, because alcohol was driving me deep into blackness within myself. That’s when a man I worked and drank with, caught me and told me what he had heard the day before. That there was a place where men and women met and stayed sober together. He told me, if I wanted to, he would take me there.
That inspired me to do something I rarely did in all that time out there, and that was to pray and ask God, as I understood Him, to remove the alcohol and change my life. I did, and that next day I woke up and didn’t even think of a drink until later that night. Five days later, without a drink, I was taken to my first meeting in this program. The miracle is that I haven’t had a drink since.
Hope is still there. That and faith. And faith came into the picture, when I was directed by my old sponsor to read the fourth chapter in the BB. It introduced me to the spiritual way of life in here. It also gave me a Higher Power, in whom I have a lot of hope and faith. It has worked out that way over and over again.
Anyway I was thinking about hope earlier and knew I needed to stop and put some of these thoughts down. I know that when I go to meetings I always find hope there. Even in the morning, when I wake up and think about another day, when I need to focus on staying sober for this day. And during the day there are moments, when I will receive a thought, which inspires hope.
I also find after such an inspiration that the hope is often fulfilled within. Know that’s part of what I need to do on a daily basis. I know it is what inspires the faith within and allows it to grow. And not just faith, but the affection which comes from that, through being helped and helping others. And from that comes the love that’s talked about in here.
All this makes me grateful to this program, my Higher Power, and so many others I have been helped by and grown to love from what I have been given. Thanks so much.