This is a Tenth Step and a meditation. A combination. Actually I did this before I began writing.
It concerns several things. One is the Serenity Prayer and my failure to accept the things I cannot change. And then the spiritual axiom; whenever we’re disturbed there is something wrong with us. The one led to the other.
For a couple of weeks I’ve been failing to accept that there was nothing I could do to help someone. Worry and anxiety kept me from being willing to let go and let God. No matter how many times I said that prayer, a part of me hung on to the thoughts, which I tried to bury, rather than actually turning it over.
Today I was trying to rectify the situation and guess what? Someone stepped in and, try as I might (not too hard), I failed to mind my own business and let myself get angry and resentful. If I didn’t really think I was wrong, intuitively it was right below the surface.
Finally I took the time to sit down and take a look at myself. And, of course there it is; myself. Me in the way of my higher power and everyone else. It was clear where I was wrong and I had to stop and pray and ask for help once again. No surprise.
I know this Tenth Step, followed by the Eleventh, is the spiritual answer to most of my problems. I learned that early on in this program. Thank the God of my understanding for these tools. They’re part of the basics which keep me sober. Thank God for my sponsor, who showed me the way. Those old timers, who taught us all these things we need to stay on the path. The members I know and associate with today, who keep reminding me of what I need to do. I am truly grateful
Once again it’s all about staying sober.