There are a lot of questions asked by a lot of alcoholics, when it comes to this spiritual way of life. The first of course is the challenge so many of us have at the beginning. Is there a Higher Power? Do I need a Higher Power? If there is, do I need to surrender and come to believe? And the list goes on.
I listened to a lot of people today describing their struggles with this concept and how they each resolved this question. Some stayed with the idea of the group being their Higher Power. Some found a God of their understanding. One just came to believe in the Program. There were a lot of answers and descriptions of painful wrestling around in order to begin to work this Program and get and stay sober.
At the end, most were able to say they were happy and at peace with themselves. Content to be an alcoholic, as the result of having found AA. I know I feel that way.
I’m sure from time to time we all have an on again off again kind of faith. Moments, when it’s strong and moments, when we’re not sure. But, like my sponsor told me, to hang in there and not quit no matter what. To turn my life and will over to my concept of a Higher Power. To continue to practice that 11th Step everyday.
It’s not a matter of being a saint. Far from it. But it is about trying and doing. Having enough respect for the Program and the Steps and what they have done for us. Believing there is Something there for all of us, no matter what we believe or don’t believe. One man said an Energy he can tap into. Others, God.
I remember one man, who held that his group was his Higher Power. He was that way for years. One day he was swimming off Ocean City, Md. He got caught in a rip current and was swept out into the Atlantic Ocean. He said later that he could no longer see the land from where he was at. He was scared to death, but knew the group wasn’t out there with him. He began to pray and found a faith he never had before, especially in the fact he survived and got back to shore. He came ashore with a Higher Power.
I’ve heard other similar stories. Not fox hole prayers, but the real thing. I know it worked for me. It changed my whole life. It saved my life.
Just thinking about sobriety again. What got me sober and what keeps me sober.