What an example we were given today of what can happen, when we forget the dangers of alcohol. Someone with a lot of years drank again. He had somehow put himself in a perilous place and drank without even thinking about the consequences.
That opened the door for everyone in the room to reveal how close they had come at one point or another in their sobriety to going back and drinking again. The first was the loss of memory of the damage alcohol had done to most of us and our loss of control over the drink. The second was only remembering how much fun alcohol had given us in the beginning.
That brought back what the BB had told me in the chapter More About Alcoholism. The last paragraph said, and it’s emphasized by the words “Once more”, that there may come a time when we will have no mental defense against that first drink. That probably no human being can help defend us against that first drink. That a Higher Power will be our only defense.
That happened to me at one time a year or so into this program. I had no warning. One minute no thought of a drink, and the next I found myself insanely craving a drink and was on my way to get one. And the only thing that saved me was my Higher Power. Not because I remembered to pray, I didn’t. Never thought of it. My wife stepped in and told me to go outside and say a prayer. I did and the threat passed.
It was amazing to hear so many tell of their struggles at points in their sobriety, where they were on the verge of drinking again, and a meeting, an appeal to their Higher Power, reading the BB, or memory of something someone said, intervened and stopped them. One man with a lot of years in this program told how tempted he was at a recent wedding. He said the thought came into his mind that all these people drinking were having a good time and he wasn’t.
How absolutely insane that is for an alcoholic, who almost died from drinking, whose whole life had gone to hell in a hand basket from drinking, who had gone to jail or prison from drinking, to even think they could get away with that first drink. Yet it does happen, as we witnessed today.
I know that none of us are cured of this disease. Like we’re told and the BB tells us, we have but a daily reprieve from this disease, all based on the maintenance of or spiritual condition. If I become complacent, think I have it made, just because I have time in this program and have undergone the spiritual awakening, then I’m in grave danger. The BB tells me that eternal vigilance is the price of sobriety. Just because I feel good, am at peace and have gained serenity does not mean that the danger of that first drink is not there.
I don’t have to go around in panic and anxiety in fear of alcohol, but have to pay attention and be aware. Applying these Steps to my life daily is the solution. Leading a spiritual life is the solution. Going to meetings and being reminded, as we were today, is part of this solution.
I’m grateful, as I know we all were, that the person, who had said he was coming back and then described his picking up that first drink, was willing to share this with us. It was a wake up call. Exactly why I go to meetings.