I know we’re supposed to carry the message to the alcoholic, who still suffers, but what about the suffering non alcoholic? What kind of message do I carry to them?
This morning I knew I had an obligation to meet and spend some time with someone whom I guessed was having a hard time. I also knew that I would have little input into what they’re going through. Just what is. On top of that, even though I knew all of this, I had to get myself up for doing this.
I was torn between reluctance of going through with the meeting and trying to carry the right attitude. That’s when I stopped and prayed and tried to bring the God of my understanding into the picture. Not just the Third Step prayer, the Serenity Prayer, but something of the Second Step. And, of course, the Eleventh Step.
I guess all of this helped, because I was able to meet, keep an open mind, act in a cheerful manner, and mind my own business and not do anything but be present. I guess the only message I had was that this program works. And that by example.
It’s difficult enough for me to carry the message to the new man or woman in this program. Not always easy to bring the message of a spiritual solution to those, who have time in the program, but are going through problems. But the non alcoholic I meet daily, when they have problems, presents something more difficult to me. I know from experience that they often are not open to what we are in this program.
I never want to talk about the BB to them. Nor do I find it easy to talk about the 12 Steps with them. Rarely have I found that talk about the God of my understanding or a higher power, spirituality, is going to hit the mark. But, I have found that, first avoiding whatever conflict they’re undergoing, letting them talk about it, if they want to, and then offering understanding and not advice or my opinions, is in itself a message.
And that message is clear to me. Especially if they know I am in recovery in this program. And that is to be an example of what sobriety is all about. To have some stability as a result of what this program has done for me. To bring some example of peace and serenity into the moment. To bring understanding and, if possible, consolation, if not in words, then in my presence with them. And, if I can remember, to include my higher power in all of this, not by words again, but in my own consciousness.
Anyway, that’s what I attempted to do today. Did I really carry a message? Who knows? What I did do was to be cheerful, when it was appropriate, and to attempt to be understanding. I did my best to mind my own business and not to interfere in anything. Just to be open and sober.
Anyway, afterward I thought about the day and this is what I came up with. Staying sober and living a sober life. I’m grateful I had the opportunity to do this. No matter what I think or feel it is always a privilege. It’s the example my sponsor and those old timers showed me. To me it’s the grace of the God of my understanding, which makes things like this possible.