I can’t tell you how many pilots I have known in this program. All of them had to solo, in order to prove their skills in flight. Yet none of them, except when flying, go solo in their journey on this path in staying sober. They go to meetings and stay in contact with sober alcoholics like themselves.
Going solo in staying sober is not for me either. I know that I can’t stay sober and keep my sanity and grow along spiritual lines on my own. My experience has proved this to me over and over again. Are there those, who can? Can’t prove it by me. I remember one member, who had quite a few years and had done a lot of service work. Nevertheless they made the decision to place their service work at the disposal of their church.
So, they stopped going to meetings and dropped contact with their fellow alcoholics in the program. A month or two went by, when one day I met them in a store. They had a case of beer in their cart and alcohol on their breath and obviously intoxicated. Problem was that no one in their church talked about staying sober and were equipped to speak about the problems we alcoholics run into from time to time.
Most of those I have known, who stopped attending meetings and being part of this fellowship, have either gotten drunk again, or the few who didn’t ended up on a dry drunk. However there probably are those I haven’t met, who are able to live a sober life.
I know psychiatrists, physicians. psychologists, monks, priests, nuns, ex cons, street people, professors, and all kinds of individuals, who go to meetings and talk about what we all have in common. Alcoholism. We may have special skills, but none of us have enough skill to stay sober on our own. At least none that I have known.
The BB talks about this problem of not wanting to mix with others or let them know what’s going on in our lives. However alcohol itself is what made so many of us acquire the humility necessary to step through the doors of this program and stay here.
Of course, when I came in, I found so much understanding and help from those I met, I began to let down the wall I had around me, which had kept me isolated from others. That fear of others, lack of trust, no faith in a God of my misunderstanding, and as antisocial as anyone could be. And, oh yeah, insane from what alcohol had done to me.
What I did find in here was, of all things, another family. Everyone in here became my brothers and sisters. Many, many friends. And those who became my teachers and were able to get me to let my penchant for intellectual defiance down to a level, where I could begin to hear what they were saying.
Anyway, I know how difficult it can be to let my guard down and begin to live with others I didn’t know. What helped was in hearing their stories I knew exactly what they were saying. They were describing me. No question. And then they told what happened to them and that opened the door to hope. Hope that I could have what they had, which was the power to not drink. I desperately wanted that. I had surrendered to being powerless over alcohol, but I needed to find a way to live, which could keep me sober. Not only sober, but happy, serene with peace of mind, and a whole lot more, I never dreamed of. Yet here I am, living this life with so many just like me from all walks of life.
Anyway, just taking time out to think about what I need to a day at a time. That’s sobriety and living a sober life.