Last night and today I went back and read The Professor and the Paradox from the 2nd Edition of the BB. One of my favorites. His alcoholism and his suffering were so familiar and I identified with him. But then I identify with most of the stories I have read over the years.
However this one is a favorite because of what he said about the paradoxes. A statement which appears to be false, but, as he points out, in certain instances proves to be true.
The first, of course, is that we have to surrender to win. In almost every instance a surrender means we have lost. But in AA, when we surrender, because we hit a bottom, are in pain and despair, that’s when we enter into sobriety. We’re the winners.
The second paradox, is that we have to give it away to keep it. Seems impossible, but it’s true. If I try to keep what I have to myself, I could very well lose it. But, when I think about how it was freely given to me by others, and I’m willing to give it freely to others, expecting no reward or payback, it becomes part of the insurance in maintaining my sobriety.
The third is we have to suffer in order to get well. The beginning of that was my bottom. The absolute despair, the pain it caused me, which almost cost me my life, is what I had to go through in order to start the process of recovery. And even today, when I find myself in pain from not wanting to accept something I need to, it forces me into another surrender, which leads to another spiritual awakening.
And the fourth is that we have to die to live. Through the process of these 12 Steps we undergo a change in our characters in our lives. We die to the old self and begin to live a new way of life.
I remember reading this story a while back and I remember these four seemingly “false” truths. Things which saved my life and changed me for the better. What it is I need to do to maintain this sober way of life. Coming to an understanding of what this program is about and what it does for each and everyone of us. What it did for me.
Anyway, as I sat and read this, it made me think about these things, which are so important to my sobriety. It also serves as a reminder that I’m never done and that there is always action, which needs to be taken, if I want to stay sober.