“I am but the hand of hope. The group is the hand of help.” That was my old sponsor’s slogan. An announcement he always made, when talking about working with others.
The truth of that statement is obvious to me. I’m powerless, when it comes to the 12th Step for one thing. There’s no way I can actually get anyone sober. If they don’t want this program, that’s it. I can tell my story. I can tell them what this program has done for me. And it stops there.
If someone does want this program that’s where the offer of hope comes in. Perhaps they might find hope for themselves in telling them what happened to me. And again, that’s where it stops. It’s what the group has to offer that can actually help them get sober. That’s where the support is. The discipline of going to meetings is where it all begins. Just like it did for me.
Today at the meeting two members brought up their problems with working with others. Members in response talked about the fact that we’re powerless over others. That’s when my sponsor’s words came to mind.
The truth is that I’m powerless over everyone. I’ve never been able to change any ones mind. When I think about it, no one person was ever able to change mine. Each individual, in the beginning for me, told their stories and that gave me hope. Especially, when they talked about what the program had done for them. What helped was when the group talked about what worked. The 12 Steps. Reading and discussing the BB. And I began to change my mind. It really helped.
Of course I got help from the man, who gave me hope. His suggestions and directions saved my life. As did the group. But that’s because I wanted what he had and what those old timers had. They were sober and living a sober life. That’s what I desperately wanted for myself.
I was thinking also of the 1st Step in the 12&12. The part about why all this insistence by AA on bottoms. Good reading and good direction. Nothing like pain and near death experiences from alcohol to get someone like me willing to do what was asked of me. But that’s what we all need, if we are going to be able to grab on to the hope and then ask for the help. Worked for me.